Balkeirv
by IrishLeFay
Summary: Remus is taken in the middle of the night by the Ministry for failure to comply with the Werewolf Codes, and it only gets worse from there. Takes place before Harry's conception.
1. Prologue

Balkeirv

Chapter One: Prologue

Disclaimer: In case you weren't sure, I don't own Remus, Sirius, Lily, James, the ministry of magic, the condition of lycanthropy, or the Harry Potter universe in general. I do own Mum Lupin, the rest of the Lupin clan, and various other original characters throughout.

Warnings: Adult situations, graphic violence, nudity, slash.

Irish Speaks: Okay, so, I am assuming a few things here, and I suppose I could write it all out, but it would be a story onto itself, so, bear with me while I brief you on what's going on. This is shortly after James and Lily got married. James, Lily, Remus and Sirius (Remus and Sirius being a couple) are all living together in a nice two story, four bedroom, two bathroom brownstone (Because there is no way either couple on their own could afford a house so young, in the real world anyway). The boys are all working as Aurors, their own little Three Musketeers thing. Lily is working as a muggle school teacher. Peter is around, I'm not forgetting him, he just isn't an auror, and since the other four are coupled off is kind of a fifth wheel. Lily isn't yet preggers with Harry. Okay, I think that's all you need to know. Sorry for this little preface.

Remus had always been a light sleeper. There was no real reason for it, not that he was aware of anyway. Insomnia too had plagued him since even before his Hogwarts days. Tonight however, he slept rather soundly, his handsome lover spooned nicely around him, naked body to naked body. Sirius was snoring softly, one arm around Remus's waist, the other under his pillow, hand wrapped around his wand. Remus's lay on the mattress near his wand hand.

In the next room, Lily Evans, now, Lily Potter too lay asleep, her head on her husbands shoulder. Her wand was only slightly further away on the edge of the bedside table. James had an arm around her, face turned slightly to her hair, a faint upturn to his lips. In quieter times, James preferred to sleep on his side, curled protectively around Lily. These days, his name high on Voldemort's list, he slept on his back, so he could sleep with his glasses on. His wand rested in his lax right hand.

It was Lily who woke first, eyes snapping open, feeling the charm that protected their front gate break. She lay still a moment, listening. This had happened before, more then once, and it had simply been a stray cat. But her heart was pounding too hard to be ignored, and her minds eye saw Remus's face.

"Jamie!" She hissed, sitting up, having no more then to shift her weight before James too as sitting up.

"What is it?" he whispered, listening, ears straining.

There was a heavy pounding on their front door. James recognized 'the knock'. He had used it as Head Boy, and now as an Auror. The knock of authority. He let out a breath he had drawn sharply, momentarily relived. Deatheaters didn't knock. It was a short respite though.

"Remus!" Lily half whispered, throwing off the covers scrambling from the bed, naked body glowing in the dark as she frantically pulled on the pair of jeans James had chucked across the room a couple hours before. "They are here for Remus!"

Remus had stirred, waking just enough to look at the time, three in the morning, and had turned over on his back to go back to sleep when the pounding on the front door sent him from the bed, startling him enough that he was actually on his feet before he realized what was happening. Sirius was crouched on the bed, wand in hand, looking around a bit wildly before focusing on Remus.

"Who is it?" he rasped. He knew though. So did Remus, even before he cautiously peered out the window that over looked the front step.

"DMC." Remus sighed, dropping his wand hand, flicking his wand briefly so the light came on. Department of Magical Creatures.

The pounding came again, seeming to shake the whole house. "Department of Magical Creatures. Open this door immediately!"

Sirius and Remus looked at each other briefly, then at the door as they heard the heavier footsteps of James fly by.

"Remus, no..." Sirius whispered, climbing off the bed quickly. "Run, run, james and I can stall them..."

Remus was hurriedly pulling on a pair of jeans, eyes darting around the room. He had prepared himself for this mentally. He had been flaunting the law too much for too long. Dumbledor and Moody's protection only extended so far. Everything he had mentally prepped though, flew out of his head.

"Run where, Si? Where would I go? How long can I run?"

There was another pounding that was punctuated by James's voice "Keep your knickers on, Christ man!"

"Your mum's, go to your mum's." Sirius pulled on his own recently discarded jeans.

"Remus!" Lily burst into the room, only just decent.

"I know." He sighed, lifting tired eyes to his best friend. "I know. But we knew this was coming."

Lily shook her head, hugging herself. Sirius was trying to take hold of Remus's hands as his lover was trying to pull on a shirt.

"Remus! Please!" He begged, gray eyes frantic "Please! They will take you away!"

"I know. Sirius, it will be okay." Remus finally took Sirius's hands. "It will be okay. Here..." he slid the white-gold band off his ring finger, folding it into Sirius's hand "They will just take it from me." He paused a moment, and took off the small locket that hung around his neck.

"Oy, now you can't just barge in here. Where is your warrant?" James snapped from downstairs. He stood at the foot of the stairs, not letting the ministry men past.

"Out of the way, you are harboring an unregistered werewolf. We don't need a warrant."

Lily ran out of the room, sticking her head over the bannister, watching her husband push back one of the uniformed men. James was going to get hexed...

"Like hell. I know the law. This is not property of the accused, you can't search it with out a warrant." James was bluffing, he knew he was. The deed to the house was in Remus and Lily's name, much to James's chagrin.

"Mr. Potter," The older man in the group of four that was trying to get past James stepped forward. "I would hate to have to stupefy an Auror, especially one with your track record. I would hate even more to charge you with obstruction."

"Then don't. He'll come down when he is ready."

Lily glanced over her shoulder into Remus and Sirius's room. Sirius had changed to Padfoot, for Remus to say his goodbyes. Her throat burned as Remus bent to kiss Padfoot's snout, Padfoot's whining clear to her ears.

"Oy!" James shouted again, as two of the ministry men tried to force their way past James. James wasn't a particularly big man, but quiddich and deatheater catching had put a lot of muscle on his average frame, and he put all of it to use, clutching the banister, leaning forward with his shoulders. Lily glanced at Remus and Sirius, who was now again Sirius, before she rounded the banister and scrambled down the steps to stand behind her husband, who had managed to repel the men once more.

"Let him be! He's coming down. Let him say his goodbyes!" Lily shouted, her hands on James's shoulders, ready to help brace him should they try to bowl him out of the way again.

"I must insist you produce the fugitive immediately, Mrs. Potter."

"Wank off-" Lily had been about to shout more, despite her husbands quiet admonishments for her to hush, when Sirius called her name sharply.

"Lil," he beckoned up the stairs with his head as he came down, moving to stand beside James. The shouting grew, and Lily knew spells would start to fly soon. Time was disappearing fast. She ran back up the stairs, meeting Remus just as he was coming out of his room.

"Lil," He whispered, holding his arms open to her. She flew to him, hugging him hard.

"Remus Jean Lupin, whatever happens, I don't care what you have to do, you come back to us whole." She rasped against his chest.

Remus hugged Lily tight to him, kissing her hair. "I will Lily, I promise you. Take care of Sirius for me... you know what a wreck he is left to his own devices for too long." His voice was deceptively calm.

"I will. I will make sure he eats and sleeps. I promise." She stepped back, looking into Remus's eyes, Remus small enough that they were nearly the same height. "Remus... what do you think they are going to do with you?"

"I don't know. Probably Azkaban. Tell my mum, too. She'll know what to do." Remus cleared his throat.

"I will. Remus..." she cupped his cheek. "I love you, you come back to us whole." She said again, tears finally flooding her eyes and flowing down her cheeks. "You're my best friend in the whole world."

"I love you to Lily." He kissed the corner of her mouth. "I better get down there."

Lily had started to nod, but the din downstairs had reached a fevered pitch, there was a dull thump and Sirius's voice raising above them all.

"Mother fuckers! _Stupefy!_"

"Jamie!" Lily gasped, turning from Remus, knowing he would be right on her heels, pounding down the stairs into the thick of the men. Sirius brandishing his wand, but looking just as ready to crack some skulls with his bare hands. She dove past him, seeing James on the floor at the foot of the stairs, eyes wide and staring, his body stiff with a spell.

"Wankers!" she shouted again, stamping a bare heel on some booted feet until they let her past. She wasn't sure all that happened, but the men, it seemed like a dozen of them, but it was only four, surged forward all at once, Sirius's feet scrabbling on the stairs, trying to hold them back. There was no quarter given for her and her prone husband.

"Remus Jean Lupin." One of the men called in an official voice. "You are under arrest for not registering yourself as a werewolf under article twelve of the werewolf decree. If you will not come with us peacefully, we will be forced to take you by force."

"I have every intention of-" Remus didn't get to finish though, the forest of legs around Lily lunged forward again, and Sirius cried out, hitting the stairs with a thud, sliding down almost to Lily and James, left with no options but to protect his head and try not to get trampled.

There was another thud, and a soft cry, this one Remus's. Lily looked up long enough to see Remus being forced to his knees roughly on the second or third topmost step, one of the officers, restraining him by the back of his neck, forcing his face to the carpet, holding him there as his hands were jerked roughly behind his back.

"Don't you dare cuff him!" Lily had had enough. They had stunned her husband, trampled her and Sirius, and now were brutalizing Remus. "He said he would come with you!" She leapt to her feet, starting to beat on the two men who were holding remus down, searching him roughly, fists pummeling at their backs and shoulders. "Stop it! You get out!"

She got their attention quite quickly, certainly not hitting like a girl. A ministry man wrapped his arms around her from behind in a bear hug, pinning her arms to her sides. Sirius was back on his feet, shouting too.

There was another few moments of chaos, Lily wriggling with all her might, cussing like a Scotsman. Sirius shouting, wand out, though he didn't dare do anything for fear of hitting the prone Remus. The ministry men were shouting about arrests and impeding justice, but as Remus was pulled roughly to his feet, stumbling backwards down the stairs, his voice, hardly raised at all, cut through the din.

"Sirius! Lily! Enough, enough!" he was being dragged backwards down the stairs by his bound wrists, and he narrowly missed stepping on James. Sirius stopped, watching Remus half skipping as he tried to resist just long enough to say his piece, not wanting to be pulled away just yet. "I love you Siri. Lil, I'll see you soon, okay?"

The two had stopped struggling, both faces stricken as they watched the werewolf finally shoved bodily out the front door, hearing him hit the pavement. Rough voices barking at him to get up. Sirius finally came unglued from where he stood and ran down the stairs, jumping over poor james, standing in the door.

"I love you too Remi!" He shouted after him, as Remus was pulled beyond their front gate, and disappeared into thin air.

"Shit." James hissed, feeling a goose egg on the back of his head. Lily was trying to tend to it, but James's wild hair did nothing but get in the way.

"I'm going to shave you!" She finally cried exasperated. She didn't feel the tackiness of blood though, and let up.

Sirius sat on the floor, having unhinged before quite making it to a chair. He sat with his legs folded under him, sort of leaning against one of the living room chairs, his wand hand limp and listless as his eyes were. Lily knew she should comfort him, but her own anger and grief were all she could handle. She flopped down on the couch next to James, covering her face with her hands.

"This is bull shit." she whispered. "After all he has done for the Ministry... bull shit."

"We have to floo his mum." James sighed, glancing at Sirius. When Sirius didn't so much as blink, James went over to him, sitting on the chair he was leaning against. "Si, come on mate, pull it together. He'll be fine." He said bracingly, rubbing his shoulder.

"He never hurt anyone!" Sirius shouted angrily, suddenly animate as he slammed his fist on the floor. "Never!"

"I know, Padfoot, everyone who knows remus knows that. But the law doesn't care." James sighed, glancing over at his wife. "Lil, can you floo Mum Lupin? She likes you best anyway."

"We have to get him back." Sirius was on his feet so suddenly James barely had time to lean back out of the way to keep his head from colliding with Sirius's. He started to pace restlessly, raking his hands through his mop of long dark hair. "Goddamnit!"

"Sirius, enough." James tried to be patience, he knew he would be half out of his mind if he had seen Lily hauled off like that.

Lily had gotten up from the couch, and grabbed the floo powder from the mantle. She lit a fire with her wand with a brief thought, before tossing in a handful of floo powder.

"The Ramble." She said firmly, waiting the moment it took for the flames to change before stepping through. This was the kind of news that had to be given in person.

Kaern Lupin was a woman well into her fifties, but like her son, was given to looking a bit older then her age. She was awake already, which didn't surprise Lily. It was five in the morning, time to start the day's bread, before all the children woke. Of course, there were no children to speak of any more, Margot, the youngest, was now thirteen and off at Beauxbaton.

"Mum Lupin," Lily called softly as she stepped out of the large kitchen hearth.

Mum Lupin jumped a bit, turning sharply. When she saw it was only Lily, she let out a breath, tucking graying strands of red hair back from her face, a hand covering her chest over her heart.

"Child! You gave me a fright!" She said somewhat indignantly, but as she lowered her hand it was clear on her face she knew that what had brought Lily at this hour was certainly no relieving news. "What's happened to Remus?"

Lily bit her lip, looking at the older woman a moment, her second mother. Not that her first wasn't good enough, but Mum Lupin was everyone's mother.

"The DMC came and arrested him." She said softly. "About an hour ago."

Kaern closed her eyes a moment, taking a slow deep breathing, letting it out just as slow, her hand had come to rest over her heart again.

"I see. and where have they taken him." She queried, her face calm and impassive.

"We're not sure, the ministry for now, we think, to be questioned and held for trial."

Mum Lupin snorted and shook her head. "Oh aye, a trial." She said with an uncharacteristic sarcasm. "I know what kind of 'trial' he'll be getting."

Lily knew full well too that whatever 'trial' Remus got would hardly be worth the name.

"I'm sorry, Mum Lupin. James and Si will be doing all they can with what influence they have. He refused to run, Mum, he knew what he was taking on." Lily only prayed Remus really did know what he had gotten himself into this time.

Author's Note: This was inspired by another fan fiction I read years ago, the idea of Remus being arrested and sent off. I don't know who wrote that piece or I would give them credit by name. I am obviously taking some liberties with the characters, but if I didn't feel they were plausible ideas, I wouldn't use them. Yes I know JKR has said the J in Remus J Lupin is for John. Jean is the French version of John, and since I'm already breaking cannon by not having Remus straight and with Tonks (who is, by the way, young enough to be his daughter) I'm having his middle name as Jean. Also, I would like to give credit to a good friend and ex-co-conspiriter, Wolfie, who helped develop this idea and later characters that have yet to be introduced.


	2. Lion's Den

Balkeirv

Chapter Two: Lion's Den

Disclaimer: In case you weren't sure, I don't own Remus, Sirius, Lily, James, the ministry of magic, the condition of lycanthropy, or the Harry Potter universe in general. I do own Mum Lupin, the rest of the Lupin clan, and various other original characters throughout.

Warnings: Adult situations, graphic violence, nudity, slash.

Remus took a deep breath and let it out slowly, relaxing into his bindings. He was on his knees awkwardly, ankles and wrists bound, then bound together behind him. His knees and muscles ached, and having been stripped right down to knickers, he was quite cold, but it wasn't the torture the DMC officers seemed to think it would be. The change he went through every month was incomparable to any other pain he'd ever experienced, and although he was uncomfortable, he could probably tolerate it as long as they cared to keep him like that.

"Mr. Lupin, you have no idea the trouble you have caused the ministry," one of the officers spoke, clucking his tongue, like Remus was a wayward child. Remus knew the man, Paul Boggs. He also was pretty sure that Mr. Boggs was, at the very least, on the take for Voldemort.

"Trouble? Really?" Remus raised an eyebrow. "Up until a few hours ago, I was one of the ministries most lauded Aurors. That's quite a fall from grace." Remus couldn't help but retort, the only weapon he had available to defend himself with at the moment was his tongue.

"That is precisely the trouble. As I am sure you know, you've been labeled a dark creature, which nullifies you from service to the ministry. Working as an Auror while well aware of your deviant status, you've committed treason." Boggs replied with a condescending smile.

"I have rights, Boggs. I want to hear the charges against me. I want access to a solicitor and I want my three owls." Remus said calmly. He knew full well none of those things was going to be granted. He had no rights, under the law, as a werewolf. He wasn't classified as human.

"You know full well you have no such rights. Now, I want to have a little chat with you. We know there are other unregistered werewolves out there. We want to know how you've managed to avoid the registry. If you cooperate with me… I'll see what I can do." Boggs hitched a hip up on the only piece of furniture in the room, a single stool. There was one light overhead that dimly lit the small area. It was little more then a box of concrete with a door.

"If you refuse to acknowledge my civil liberties then I insist I be treated as a prisoner of war," Remus also knew this was going to be refused, but he knew that stating he was a prisoner of war would give him more leverage later, assuming he didn't slip and fall on a silver bullet. On the other hand, the muggle British government had let nineteen of his Northern Irish countrymen and women die during hunger strikes. It was unlikely the wizarding community would respond differently.

"There is no war," Boggs replied briskly.

"Fine, so what am I bargaining this information you want for?" Remus sighed. He didn't bother to try and shift his weight, it wouldn't ease any of his aches and it would give Boggs the satisfaction of knowing he was uncomfortable. He held as still as stone.

"Your friends and family. You see, it's known that you and Sirius are… poufs, and are poufy together—"

"I think the word you're looking for his hot man on man action," Remus smirked, rewarded by watching Boggs squirm, surely bombarded by mental images, as Boggs knew both of them.

"The point is, the intentional exchange of any fluids between werewolves and humans is illegal, and is justification to put him in quarantine for up to six months."

"You can try… I don't think it will work though," the Blacks were still a name in the community after all, and Sirius and James were the most famous pair of Aurors of the decade. It was almost comparable to Russian snipers during World War II. "Come on, Boggs, both of us know that Sirius and the Potters are untouchable. Most of my siblings haven't spoken to me in years, so you can't have anything to accuse them of, and if you lock up my mother, she'll probably thank you for the vacation. Tell me what you're really after here." Remus was already sick of this interrogation. He was tired, he was uncomfortable, and he was worried about his friends. James had been lying on the floor when Remus had last seen him, surely only stupefied, but it didn't ease his mind much. Sirius was sure to be a basket case by now. Remus just hoped the man wasn't doing anything insane, that Lily and James were able to keep him reined in.

"I want to know about the Order of the Phoenix," Boggs replied, his voice having grown speculative.

"The what of the what?" Remus replied, raising an eyebrow, tossing his head a bit to get his hair out of his eyes.

"Don't play dumb Lupin. It doesn't suit you. The Order of the Phoenix. I know the Potters are members, and if the Potters are, then you and Black are as well. Tell me about the Order."

"Even if I knew, I wouldn't tell you, mostly out of sheer spite. I didn't like you before you dragged me out of my home in the middle of the night, striped me naked, stuck your finger in all kinds of places, and hogtied me. Now, I have a vested interest in going out of my way to annoy you." Remus gave up at trying to pretend he wasn't uncomfortable, and shifted slightly so he was resting on a different part of his knees.

"That attitude won't get you very far, Lupin. I can kill you and burry you in a shallow unmarked grave and there isn't a thing you or yours can do about it." Boggs replied, clearly irritated. That gave Remus at least a small amount of satisfaction.

"You could," Remus agreed with a nod. "But do you think Mr. Potter and Mr. Black would continue to risk their lives for the ministry if you did? Or Longbottom? What do you think Dumbledore would have to say about that? Hmm? I may be little more then an animal to the law, but I have friends in high places," Remus smirked. "In fact, let me tell you a little secret. I'm not afraid to die, not even a little, and I would relish being the little, worthless straw, that brings down the ministries camel." It was true too. Remus didn't want to die, he was too busy for such nonsense, but he wasn't afraid of dying. He wasn't an important man, but he had loyal friends who were important men and women. Right now, the ministry was a house of cards. If someone like James, or Merlin forbid, Dumbledore, denounced the ministry… it would be the kind of chaos that gladdened a Marauder's heart.

Boggs growled, and backhanded Remus roughly. Remus toppled over and cracked his head on the cement floor with a grunt. He tossed his tawny hair out of his face again, smiling sweetly up at bogs.

"Haven't you Brits learned? Don't mess with the Irish," Remus grinned even as Boggs' boot came at his face and when it connected and the world went black with a sharp crunch, Remus went gladly with it.

O O O O O O O O O O O O

Remus awoke aching and cold, much as he had been when he had last been awake. He was alone though, that he knew immediately, there was no scent of person or animal around him. Only the musty smell of damp cinderblock walls and stale linen. He moved his limbs tentative. They had been unbound, and he sighed in relief, stretching out slowly. He was laying on something hard, but it wasn't the floor. When he opened his eyes, it was just as dark as when they had been shut. Solitary confinement.

He sat up slowly, feeling around him. He was sitting on a wooden ledge bolted to the wall, a 'bed' such as it was. There was a single blanket under him, still folded. He had just been dumped on top of it. At the end of the bed was something else, cloth, folded; it was lighter then the blanket. He unfolded it, exploring with his fingers. There was not even a sliver of light, so his eyes couldn't even 'adjust' there was simply no light. Ah, a prison uniform. Remus wasted no time in pulling it on, not caring that they were prison garb. He was cold. There were even socks. Once dressed, he wrapped the blanket around him like a cloak. The clothes and blanket both smelled strongly of others who had worn them over the years, but nothing worse then the smell of old clothes.

Slowly he felt around his new 'home'. There was a bucket of relatively clean water, and another that was empty, which was for the obvious. That was it. His face ached fiercely, and he suspected his nose had been broken by Boggs' kick, but the lycanthropy was already healing it. If it had bled at all, someone had washed him off before they dumped him.

All in all, Remus felt he had won round one. He was still alive, and had been given the bare necessities, a bit of warmth, a bit of water, and a pot to piss in. He lay back down on his board cum bed and closed his eyes, falling into the slow even breath of meditation, reaching his mind out for Sirius. They hadn't yet mated, in the metaphysical sense (the carnal sense, though, was an all together different story), but there was still a bond between them. Remus didn't think Sirius was truly aware of it yet; Remus was though. It stretched between them like some spiritual umbilical chord. It was thin, faint, but always growing stronger. When Remus focused his mind a certain way, almost like crossing his eyes, he could see it, a thread of the faintest pink. He followed that thread with his mind, trying to find his way to Sirius, wanted to let Sirius know he was okay. He tried several times, but the bond between them just wasn't strong enough and he gave it up as a bad job. He had one more link though.

Remus touched the palm of his left hand with the fingers of his right, feeling the raised scar there, an othala rune. It was very old and ancient magic, the kind he and Lily both had a knack for. Remus knew all about the oldest kinds of magic, the kind done without wands, because it was in his family. The women in the Lupin clan were Earth Witches. Apparently he had some of that femininity in him, because he carried the same powers, enhanced by his lycanthropy, which was earthy and primal. Lily likely had Earth Witches somewhere in her line. Most true redheads did. Primal earth magic used blood, dirt, piss, dances, gestures, words, all deeply tied to gender and representative things like types of wood or stone. To most witches and wizards it was disgusting and complicated. To Remus and Lily both though, it made a fundamental sense. James and Sirius may have enchanted mirrors to communicate, and their little communicators worked very efficiently, so long as you had the mirrors. What Lily and Remus had done allowed them far more vague form of communication, but one that required no props, and thus far, had no limits of distance.

The othala rune was the rune of kinship, friendship, safety and familiarity. They had made themselves kin. They had created their own ritual, etching the rune into each other's flesh with a little silver knife. Remus had had to wrap the handle with his handkerchief to use it, and the pain of Lily cutting him had been terrible.

_"Remus, maybe we shouldn't do this," Lily murmured, biting her lip as she lifted the knife away from his flesh. She had only made one line, and Remus's face was tight with pain. It wasn't the cut, it was the silver. The flesh around the cut was red and even blistering. _

_"It's fine Lily, just do it, it'll be worth it," Remus said bravely. He couldn't keep silent the small whimper that escaped though, when she pressed the blade to his flesh again, pressing until blood welled up, then she drew it across his palm, making an x. His whole arm was trembling as he resisted the urge to jerk away from the pain. Lily started to cry. She finished the rune with a trembling hand, tears rolling down her face, splashing onto the fresh wound. She finished with a sob, releasing his hand and throwing her arms around him._

_"I'm sorry Remi! I'm sorry! I didn't know it would hurt so bad!" She cried. Remus fisted his injured hand, trying to keep from bleeding on her as he hugged her with his other arm, still panting a bit. _

_"It's okay Lily, really, I have to do the same to you. We better hurry, or I might heal up," he said, wanting this to be done, he hated to hurt Lily as much as she hated to do the same to him. Lily nodded and freed him from her embrace, offering her palm to him. Remus gripped it in his bloody hand, and put the knife too her. She gasped when he made the first cut, but made no other sound as he quickly lay open her palm in the mirror image of his own. _

_"I don't think it was as bad for me," she said, though she too was a little breathless. She leaned over and spit in his palm. "Urgh, sorry, that's so gross,"_

_"Yeah now it's your turn," Remus smiled, returning the favor, then they clasped hands tightly, wound to wound. Above them, the moon was one day after full. Remus had had his change last night. They were supposed to do this rite under a full moon, but that wasn't an option. "Ready?"_

_Lily nodded. They whispered the incantation they had invented, whispering it in a round until it became a chant. A heat grew between their clasped hands, spreading up their wrists and arms. They had both had their eyes closed, but Remus opened his when he heard Lily gasp. A pastel yellow light surrounded their hands and was moving up their arms. They almost stopped with shock. They hadn't expected to actually be able to see the magic they were working. The chant faltered, and so did the light, and quickly both of them resumed, knowing that leaving magic half done could have terrible consequences. _

_The light spread up their arms like a rising tide. When it reached their respective chests, the light intensified over their hearts, forming a warm glowing ball. Then suddenly both balls of hot light seem to explode, but in a very directed fashion, exploding into each other. Their chant stopped at a crescendo, and as the echo of their voices faded from around the lake, so did the light._

_"I think it worked…" Remus whispered, at least a little surprised. Slowly, they unclasped hands. Their wounds looked no different, Remus's red and irritated, Lily's just bleeding. They carefully bandaged up their hands. _

After a couple of days, when the wounds had healed, they had placed the bandages in a jar, with broken glass, nails, as well as dirt and ash from their home yards and hearths. They had finished the spell with bodily fluids from both of them. It had been gross, and they had immediately put the jar in a cloth bag so as not to look at the mixture. They had buried it among the roots of their tree down by the lake. It was a protective act, to seal the spell, hence the broken glass and nails. They had dug it up when they graduated; it had then been reburied in a very large potted plant for a couple years, until finally the four of them had moved in together. Now it was buried under the willow in front of the house. The had kept it in the cloth bag, not wanting to see what had become of what they had put in that jar. But it was an amazingly powerful talisman. One that Lily had tied many of the protective charms on the house to.

The jar and its contents were of no use to him any more. That was women's magic, more then he could access. What the real intention had been though, when they had done all this, was to create a tie between himself and Lily. It had worked. They couldn't communicate in words, but they could communicate in feelings. It was all very vague, but they could convey very general ideas to each other.

Remus clasped his hands together, and thought of Lily. Remembering that day had been a good start. As he thought of Lily, he intermingled another idea. _I'm okay._

O O O O O O O O O O O

Lily was washing dishes with a vengeance, scrubbing at a frying pan that had been clean for ten minutes. She couldn't help it though. She missed Remus terribly, and feared for him. Mum Lupin had spent all yesterday at the ministry, as had James and Sirius, but they had gotten nowhere. Remus wasn't being allowed visitors. She was fairly certain Remus wasn't dead. Her and Sirius would have both been able to feel that. She didn't think he was terribly hurt either, or certainly between her and Sirius they would have felt it. But She wasn't positive. Neither was Sirius. Sirius wasn't a calm man at the best of times, mercurial, always in motion both physically and emotionally. Now, he couldn't calm his mind enough to even try and reach out for Remus, or stop and listen for him. He was like a moth in a jar. To be honest, though, Lily wasn't doing much better. What the hell were they doing to her best friend?!

There was a faint tingle in her left hand. She paused. Not a tingle, more of an itch. She bit her lip. Could it be? Lily let the pan slip back under the water, taking a few steps back to sit down at the table. She closed her eyes, pressing her left hand over her heart. _I'm here Remus, keep trying!_ She urged him mentally. There was no direct response, there never was, that wasn't how this worked. She waited though, clearing her mind.

A feeling of calm stole over her, not peace, per se, but a certain settled feeling. It wasn't her emotions either, this wasn't originating from her. It wasn't a sense of rightness, things weren't great, but they weren't bad either. They were… okay… Remus was okay! She started to leap from the chair then paused, calming herself back down. She sat, still and silent, sending back, not a response, exactly, but her own feeling. A feeling of completeness, like scratching and itch or finishing a puzzle. She waited until she felt that same feeling mirror back at her, then allowed herself to leap to her feet.

"Sirius!" She shouted, throwing open the back door, "Sirius!"

He was sitting in the gazebo that was in their back yard. Most of the time, it served as a garage for his flying motorbike. It was there today, and Remus's tools were laid out along one of the benches, but Sirius was just staring at the bike. It had been a gift from Remus. His head jerked up, and he too leapt to his feet.

"What, what is it?! What's happened!"

"It's Remus! He's okay, Sirius." She hopped up the three short stairs, her ponytail swaying, spontaneously throwing her arms around Sirius. "He's okay."

"How do you know?" Sirius frowned; his return hug was distracted as he patted her back.

In response, Lily simply held up her palm with the othala rune scared on it. "He told me so," She smiled a little. "And we can't lie to each other through this," she added. Remus was a very skilled liar, mostly about his feelings, but since he had to be experiencing and emotion to relay it, it was almost impossible to lie.

"Are you sure?" Sirius asked clearly not wanting to be given false hope.

"Positive," Lily patted his chest. "Absolutely positive. Trust me, we've had this since we were thirteen."

Sirius took a deep breath and sat down as suddenly as he had stood, not quite collapsing,

As he buried his face in his hands. "Oh thank Merlin… God, I want to see him!"

"I know Si, we all do," Lily tried to sooth, petting his head. He leaned into her a bit. The friendship among the four of them was very affectionate. Not that there hadn't been plenty of misunderstandings when they were younger, the group dynamics were a little crazy, especially when Peter was figured in. Now that she and James were married though, and Remus and Sirius were so clearly devoted to each other, there were far fewer of those. So when Lily saw James watching them from an upstairs window, she offered a sort of sad wave. James lifted his hand in return, then disappeared from the window, coming out the back door moments later. He put an arm around both of them, his best friend and his wife.

"It will be okay guys, Remus is tough," he said quietly. "After a life time of lycanthropy, dealing with the Ministry will be a cake walk," James tried to joke. It fell flat though. Lily felt lighter, knowing that Remus was indeed okay, but Sirius seemed to have found little comfort in it. Merlin, what a mess.

_Come home soon…_ Lily thought, _come home soon, Remus, we need you._

O O O O O O O

Author's note: Man I feel like this was a bit all over the place. I hope you guys are enjoying this at least a little. It's funny, I have so many ideas that are so inherently part of these characters, and it's hard to figure out how to fit in what I need so everything makes sense without just writing pages and pages of narration. Anyway, I know a few of you are reading this, so I hope you enjoy.


	3. Something Old, Something New

Disclaimer: In case you weren't sure, I don't own Remus, Sirius, Lily, James, the ministry of magic, the condition of lycanthropy, or the Harry Potter universe in general. I do own Mum Lupin, the rest of the Lupin clan, and various other original characters throughout.

Warnings: Adult situations, graphic violence, nudity, slash.

Balkeirv

Chapter Three: Something Old, Something New

By: Irish

This place was called a "Werewolf Rehabilitation Habitat", a 1984-esq trick that made it sound like one of those classy places muggles went to stop drinking or doing crank. Remus hadn't been fooled though. As a rule of thumb, the nicer the ministry made something sound, the worse it would probably be. Still, he wasn't prepared at all for the sight that greeted him through the slit of a window in the back door of the prison wagon he'd been flung into. He wasn't even sure where they were, geographically. He'd been in this dank box, rattling around like a single pea in a can for many hours now.

The trial had been forty minutes of unadulterated, grade-a ministry bullshit. Remus had mucked a few hippogriff stalls in his time, and he'd never seen so much shit. He had been given no solicitor, which aside from the principle of the thing, he hadn't minded. Whatever blowhard they would give him would probably be less versed in the law than he was, anyway. Lily, James, Sirius, Peter and his mother had all sat in a stiff, pale white row on the front bench. The charges had been read against him, ranging from the catchall werewolf crime that pretty much every lycanthrope who'd made it through puberty was guilt of, exchanging bodily fluids with a non-infected human. That included spit and sweat. All the way up through high treason. Reading the charges alone had taken ten minutes. There had been forty. After that, Remus had entered his plea of not guilty, and an officer of the court had given him the potion of diluted vertiserum. It wasn't strong enough to compel you to tell the truth, or make you chatty, like undiluted vertiserum did, but it made it impossible to lie.

The counsel had then questioned him for fifteen minutes. The questions had been very mundane, and he would have answered them truthful even without the potion. Had he ever attacked another human, had he ever worked for the ministry, in what capacity? Had he ever had sexual intercourse? With whom? That had almost been fun to answer, since two of them were men, and the other was Lily Potter. That had clearly been unexpected. It was old news among the Marauders, they'd been each other's firsts, they'd managed exactly once, then realized that their love was more that of siblings.

After the questioning, Remus had been allowed to give a short speech, which he did, arguing that although he admitted he had done all that he'd been accused, he was not guilty because the laws were unfair and unjust. Of course no one had cared what he'd had to say on the matter, and most of the counsel had made grand show of being board. The second he'd stopped speaking, he'd been pronounced guilty on twenty of the counts against him, most of them moderate to minor. That had been better than he'd expected. He'd been given a sentence of five years, eligible for parole after two. He had stopped listening at that, turning back to his friends and kin, to say his goodbyes before he was hauled away, but what was said next had given him pause (not paws, he already had those). He had expected to serve his sentence in Azkaban, but instead he'd been sentenced to this "werewolf rehabilitation habitat."

He'd been allowed the small mercy of saying good-bye to everyone, though he'd been heavily shackled and able to do little more than lean into the hugs they'd given him. Sirius had kissed him long and hard, which had brought tears to his eyes. After just a few moments, though, they'd dragged him off.

He'd been side-along aparated by Boggs after the trial to some place he had never been before, and been promptly thrown in this wagon. They had gone through a few small village but no major cities, and all that he could see most of the time was the gravel road they were on and huge coniferous trees. Now though, they'd gone through a gate.

It wasn't until they'd passed through the gate and had moved well past it that Remus had the reality of his situation brought home to him. The fence was easily ten feet high. It was merely chain link, but at the top was razor wire. A wizard with a wand would have laughed at such a trivial barrier, but Remus was not a wizard with a wand. He was a dark creature with a contagious disease. As they moved further onto the grounds of whatever this place was, Remus saw that the road on this side of the gate also had chain link on either side, topped by razor wire.

A head of them, he heard another gate open. It sounded heavy. Remus waited nervously, forehead pressed against the door so he could see out the narrow slow, to see what kind of gate they had passed through now.

The gate itself was metal and rusted, but the walls that held it were brick. Remus was able to catch a glimpse of the thickness of the walls as the gate was pushed shut by some kind of guard. It looked to be at least three layers of brick thick, and Remus swallowed. The tough attitude he'd managed to maintain throughout his already long ordeal was eroding quickly. A jack-of-all-trades, prior to this moment, Remus would have thought that there were very few situations in life that he would be helpless against. Apparently a very large wall had never occurred to him.

Something slammed against the door of the prison wagon, very near where his face was, and Remus leapt back, startled.

_"Dvinooto protii ctyen!"_ One of the guards barked. Remus shook his head slightly, having no idea what was being said, but took a few steps backwards. He didn't want to be in arms reach when that door opened. Whatever the guard wanted seemed to be satisfied because in the next moment the door was thrown open and two guards stood glaring at him. One of the men barked at him again sharply in a language he still didn't understand.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand…" Remus said, shaking his head. He held his hands up, palms facing the guards in a gesture of peace and surrender. He had no interest in taking on these two men, both of which probably outweighed him by fifty pounds and had wands.

"_Nyeh dvin'te_!"

He cocked his head trying to puzzle out what language they were speaking. It sounded Slavic, Russian probably. He wondered if they didn't speak English or were intentionally refusing to use it. "_Je ne comprends pas_." Remus tried.

"_Cidityeh_!"

"I guess that's a no—" Before Remus could finish the sentence, one of the guards lashed out with a long white pole, jabbing Remus hard in the stomach. He doubled over, dropping to his knees with a grunt. The moment his head was bowed he felt something slip around his neck and draw tight. By the time he brought his hands up to his neck, he was being jerked forwards out of the truck. He didn't have a chance to get his feet under him, and landed on the gravel of the road on all fours, coughing. The loop around his neck loosened a little, and Remus was able to gather his wits.

He was been held several feet away from the guard with the same kind of device that dogcatchers used on dogs. A long pole with a loop at the ended that could be loosened and tightened. He couldn't get any closer to them, had he wanted to attack, because of the pole.

Remus felt his ears heat with humiliation. He was not an animal! "I would have gotten out if you told me to. I'm not going to attack you," Remus said wearily. All he got in response was a jerk from the man holding the pole.

"_Sto'te_," the guard commanded, his expression having no hint of comprehension at Remus's words. The werewolf managed to stagger to his feet, stumbling along a large open area just inside the gate. He couldn't get much of a bearing on where he was, because every time he tried to turn his head, his handler seemed to take it as a sign of aggression and the loop around his neck was jerked.

The propelled him to sort of a log cabin, the only structure in his line of sight. The door opened a moment before he was almost forced into it face first, and he stumbled into what looked like an office. There wasn't a whole lot in it, a desk, filing cabinets and the like. There was one chair, in the middle of the room, with a high back and arms, though it wasn't at all padded. With some deft maneuvering by the guard holding the poll, he was forced to sit in the chair. Someone muttered something, and Remus felt the tingle of a spell against his skin, before he found his arms forced against the arms of the chair, his legs against the legs, and his head tight against the back. Leather restraints fastened themselves around each limb and around his neck and the guards left him without another word.

Remus looked around as much as he could, held in place by the collar around his throat, fastened to the chair, looking for a clue as to where he was, whom he was waiting for, anything. He tested the sturdiness of the chair a bit and founded that it was bolted to the floor and all the joints were tight. With a sigh, he resigned himself to waiting.

After a short eternity, the door behind him opened and shut again, and Remus could hear the slow pace of hard-soled boots on the wooden floor. His nose caught a familiar scent on the in draft and he frowned.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?"

Despite his restraints, Remus tried to whip his head around, and only succeeded in choking himself. He knew that voice immediately, though. "Severus," he hissed.

"Surprised to see me?" Severus murmured, as he took his time moving around Remus, into his line of sight. "You shouldn't be. After all, I have you to thank for this position," his pleased expression turned into a snarl. "How do you manage to continue to ruin my life, Lupin!"

"Considering the current seating arrangements, I think it's arguable who is ruining whose life," Remus replied, warily watching the other man. During their Hogwarts years, Remus had considered Severus neither friend nor foe, and mostly a dangerous variable. He had long recognized Severus's hatred of James and Sirius for what it really was, unbridled jealousy. Remus could relate to that, having tagged in their shadow for many years, to this day, in fact. Remus had been able to coax Severus into very occasional alliances, as long as it was just between him and Severus, and sometimes Lily.

"You cannot imagine the depth of pleasure I am experiencing at this moment, Lupin. If you had only known that someday I would exact revenge for every one of my hurts in pounds of flesh from your pathetic hide… I think things would have gone much differently," Severus spoke softly, almost as one would speak to a lover, and Remus could see a mix of emotions in Severus's eyes that hovered just on this side of sanity.

"Yeah I get it, you're creaming your jeans at the idea of torturing me. You're a sick fuck, you know that?"

No sooner had Remus finished speaking then Severus lashed out, backhanding him brutally, splitting Remus's lip and cracking the back of his head against the chair. Remus only grinned in response.

"You should show more respect for me, Lupin. I am a very angry man and I am now your master. I hold the power of life and death over you. You only have Sirius to blame for this you know. If he had never tempted me to the Shrieking Shack that night, I would have never devoted so much of my time to understanding the lycanthropic infection. And had I not done that, the Dark Lord wouldn't have put me in charge of this… place." Severus finished his diatribe rather lamely. Remus could read his tone though, and that combined with his earlier words said he felt his current position was no honor.

"I'm no respecter of persons, Severus, and I have no master," Remus replied, though his tone was more cautious now. Despite his occasional and tentative alliances with Severus, he'd suffered far more from the boy (now man) than James or Sirius ever had, because they had been all but untouchable. Remus though, the sidekick, had been easily within his reach.

"Oh you do now, Lupin, you do now," Severus's voice was dangerously low, and he watched Remus a moment with dark, brooding eyes. After a moment, he shook himself out of his reverie though, and continued at a much more brisk, almost congenial tone.

"This place you are at is called Balkeirv. I have no idea what it means," Severus shrugged. "As far as I can tell, it is nonsense. You're currently in Siberia. The ministry calls this place, as you know, a Rehabilitation Habitat. There are a few other Brits, Scots and Irish here, most are Slavic though, so I recommend you learn Russian quickly,"

Severus paced a bit as he gave his speech, and Remus followed him with his eyes, wondering if this was a script that every new inmate got or if Severus was being kind enough to provide him with a little extra information.

"You will not be completely marked until after your first change, this is in order to be sure that you are not falsely accused. Since I know that isn't the case, it seems a waste of time, but, most the guards here are rather simple creatures and it would take me most of the afternoon to change things up just for your sake."

"Yes, I'd hate to inconvenience you," Remus nodded, as much as he could with how restrained he was.

"Indeed. Well, Lupin, you should feel honored, very few of the guests here are ever graced with my company, and none of them on the first day. When I heard it was you though, I thought I'd extend my courtesy for old times sake," the wicked grin that followed this statement did nothing to alleviate Remus's ever-compounding anxiety. "You see Lupin, I've been ordered to invent a couple different potions. I assume I don't need to tell you for whom. This place is a source of endless guinea pigs for me. And you have just become my favorite."

Remus swallowed hard, rendered mute from fear, and from a deep sense of pity and loss. Severus may have not been his friend, but Remus had always tried to think the best of him. Unfortunately, it seemed that had been misplaced.

"Now, the guards will take you and delouse you and what not, do enjoy." With a cold smile, Severus walked out of his line of vision once more, and called out the door, in Russian, for the guards to take him away.

Author's Note: Surprise! Here's Snapey! Okay, okay, for those of you who like Snape, relax, just keep in mind that I like him very much too. Additionally, I wasn't sure how to make it clear without adding even more exposition into this heavily expositional chapter: the ministry _thinks_ it runs Balkeriv, but Voldemort has infiltrated there, hence Snape. Hopefully the next chapter will be out soon, but I won't make promises, because I'm rarely able to keep them when it comes to writing. Thank you to all of you who have taken a chance and read this story. Thank you for all your reviews, it really makes me want to make sure you enjoy what I'm writing 


	4. Mark of the Beast

Disclaimer: In case you weren't sure, I don't own Remus, Sirius, Lily, James, the ministry of magic, the condition of lycanthropy, or the Harry Potter universe in general. I do own Mum Lupin, the rest of the Lupin clan, and various other original characters throughout.

Warnings: Adult situations, graphic violence, nudity, slash.

Balkeirv

Chapter Four: Mark of the Beast

By: Irish

Remus looked around at the three sets of eyes boring into him. He couldn't explain why it sent chills down his spine, but those stares… Maybe it was the uniforms of the guards that stood around him, reminding him all too much of Unionist-backed MPs and police that had been "keeping the peace" in his native Northern Ireland for his entire life. Maybe it was just the general lack of life in them, or the language barrier that made these men feel so utterly alien.

"_Razdet,_" one of the guards said again, and used the tip of his wand to flick Remus's collar before crossing his arms over his chest again, and resuming his staring.

Remus sighed softly. He knew what they wanted. They wanted him to undress so he could be probed and scrubbed. He wasn't a huge fan of the idea, but knew that if he didn't comply, he'd likely be stunned and then have it done for him. Slowly he started to unbutton his shirt. They took it from him the moment it was off his shoulders one making a 'hurry up' motion with his hand.

It wasn't the issue of being naked, or fear of being violated; it was how they were watching him. Cold dead eyes. Even lust would have been better because at least it was something he could recognize. He unlaced his boots and removed them, then his socks. Out of options, his finally dropped his pants, resisting the urge to try and cover himself. Instead he stared back at the guards, tossing his tawny hair from his face defiantly, a hand on his hip.

"Well, now what?" he asked with a shrug, as though he frequently stood in all his scarred and tattooed naked glory in front of strange and threatening men.

"_Oostonov te bashi rooki nah stenyeh._"

"Oh, obviously," Snape was certainly right about needing to learn Russian. "I don't speak Russian. No _spreken de_ Rooskii. _Je ne compreds pas_. I. Don't. Speak. Russian." Remus was sure they didn't actually care, but it would be more expedient if they tried to meet him half way, instead of just barking orders and then getting pissed when he didn't follow them.

The guards apparently didn't care for his attitude, as he found himself spun around in a classic police move, and forced to the wall, hands over his head, his feet kicked apart.

"I'll take it that was Russian for 'assume the position?' I assure you there is nothing up there," Remus grimaced. "Well, accept for your finger, now." Just because he was gay did not mean he enjoyed just any strange man violating him. Hell, he wasn't even thrilled when the damned Healer had to do it for a routine physical. "Have you found my fucking tonsils yet? Christ on a fucking cracker, do you mind?"

In fact, the guard did mind very much, judging by his own disgusted and complaining tone as he spoke to his fellows. Remus had absolutely no sympathy. After another moment the invading fingers were gone, and since he was already naked, there was nowhere else to search. A hand grabbed the back of his neck and propelled him from one dank concrete room to another, with showerheads and drains on the floor.

In retrospect, Remus would have greatly preferred a half dozen more cavity searches then the scrubbing that occurred next. For ten agonizing minutes, two guards scrubbed him with what felt like Brillo pads on sticks. That was humiliating and painful enough, but then they dumped a bucket of what smelled like a delousing agent over his head. The noxious chemical smell causing him to cough.

And it _burned_. His raw skin was twice an agony, as he tried to stand there stoically. His muscles twitched as he resisted the urge to rub at his skin and try and get it off. After a five-minute eternity of agony, the water was turned back on and he was allowed to rinse off. It didn't stop the burning entirely, but brought it down to a tolerable level.

Remus found himself herded along like a wayward sheep, with a prodding wand in his back, as he was moved through the next room where he was given a swatch of cloth to dry with, then into a supply room. He was turned over to two other guards there. His own clothes, he could see, were in large pile of other discards. He wasn't given his own clothes back though, and instead found a military-drab uniform thrown at him. They were too big, which was unsurprising. Remus was a small man. The pants had snaps on either side of the waist that allowed him to adjust until they'd actually stay on his narrow hips. He had to roll up the pants twice and the sleeves three times. He was just glad to be dressed again.

"Well, it's not the worst fashion statement I've ever made," Remus said, tucking his shirt into his pants, then ducking as a pair of boots were thrown at him. They were two sizes too big, at least.

"Say, how about I keep my own boots? They're right over there…" Remus attempted. He left the boots where they were and pointed to the pile of cast offs. One of the guards simply pointed insistently at what had been thrown at him.

"Tell ya what, you keep those. They look newer than yours, and I'll keep mine?" Remus held up a hand as a gesture of peace as he edged over towards his boots. Good footgear could be life saving. Especially in winter.

The guard watched him warily, but seemed more open to trying to communicate then all his previous guards had been. Remus picked up his own boots, and held them to his chest with one hand. "See, I keep these," he tightened his hold for emphasis. "And you, take those." Remus pointed at the other pair of boots, then at the guard's feet, then repeated the motion. The guard had boots of his own, but they were worn almost gray. Even if the pair he'd thrown at Remus didn't fit, he'd be able to find a pair that did from what they had in supply, and the numbers would still tally.

The guard's eyes flicked from Remus to the discarded boots and back again. Then he gave a single nod, and moved to pick them up. Remus sighed with relief and quickly pulled on the familiar footgear, lacing them up quickly. Never in his life had he been so happy to have his "culchie boots". He came from a working class Irish Catholic family with ten kids. Shoes were a luxury. In the summer, he'd gone barefoot, mostly. Aside from that, he had never had more than one pair of shoes, always leather working boots, or as non-working class kids called them "culchie boots". Remus had felt a lot of vindication when the very boots he'd started his first year with became popular. Doc Martens were all the rage now. He'd been torn between laughter and the intense desire to punch Sirius in the face when his lover had bought a pair. Sirius had been the worst for taking the mickey out of him about his culchie boots.

Remus straightened, glancing down at his feet once more, feeling very fond of his boots at the moment and a bit proud that he was already leaning and learning how the system here work. Russians were renoun for their backdoor dealings. He looked up quickly when another guard entered the room, speaking rapidly in Russian to the other two men who had been keeping an eye on him. The newcomer gestured in a rather dramatic fashion, and pointed to Remus several times. There was a short argument, and then the new guard gestured for Remus to follow him. Nervous, Remus crossed the room and hopped the couple of steps out the door following after the guard.

He was brought to yet another building, this one far smaller, even than Severus's office had been. Like Severus's office though, it had a single chair in the center of the room. Remus didn't even need to be told to sit this time.

It was déjà vu, really, as he sat and was immediately strapped in place with a whispered word of magic. Once again the door opened, and once again hard-soled boots clicked on the floorboards.

"Severus, I didn't expect to see you so soon," Remus said, feigning cheerfulness.

"There's been a minor change in plans. I've been given orders to have you shaved and marked before releasing you into the population… it's a concern that you may try and make an escape." Severus replied from somewhere behind him. "Not that I care if you know that or not. But I wanted to enjoy the sight of watching you shorn and branded. Too bad Black isn't here to witness this. I would love for him to watch me make what was his, mine."

Someone stepped up behind Remus, not Severus, Remus could tell that immediately and grasped a lock of his hair, there was a snip, and then one tawny lock dropped onto his lap. Remus sighed.

"I never belonged to Sirius. I don't belong to you. You can't 'have' me Severus. I'm not property," Remus's hair was quickly being snipped away.

"A dog can be owned, can't it?" Severus smirked. "And that's what you are, Lupin. Nothing more than a mangy, underbred dog. Your definitely the runt of the litter your mother whelped."

"Do you really want to exchange barbs with me about family? I'm pretty sure I'll win…" Remus said, pretending to be bored with the whole situation. "Do you really think you're more intimidating that an MP with an assault rifle? I hate to tell you this, Sev, but you're not."

"_Crucio!"_ Severus barked.

Remus had had the _Crucio _curse cast on him many times. Twice in his seventh year at Hogwarts in his Defense Against the Dark Arts class, probably nearly a dozen times during his three years training to be an auror, and a couple of times since then while actually attempting to catch Death Eaters. He'd once suffered a full two minutes of it. For the _Crucio_ curse, that was a long time. As a rule of thumb, five minutes straight could actually kill you, though, it could take up to ten if you were tough. Eventually though, the pain overwhelmed you so entirely, that you just started to shut down, you went into deep shock and died.

Severus seemed hell-bent on testing his endurance though.

Remus gripped the arms of the chair, throwing his head back. Jaw clenched as he convulsed in pain. It had taken him by surprise. Prepared for it, Remus might have been able to counter it a little. He was vaguely aware that his back had arched, and he was bowed upwards, contorting in mortal agony. He clenched his jaw harder, head thrashing. He would. Not. Scream. Damnit!

Severus was standing over him, peering down into his face. He caressed Remus's cheek with the back of his hand, a cool touch. The other kept his wand pointed at Remus, holding the spell.

"Your willpower is amazing," he whispered. "I like that I can make you feel, Lupin, that my actions can become the axis that your world spins on. Oh you will call me Maste," his voice was a mere whisper, almost sweet, his fingers playing over Remus's cheek and along the side of is neck. "You will beg to call me Master."

Remus could barely hear the words through the rushing and pounding in his ears. His eyes were locked wide open, and all he could do was stare back at Severus, lips clamped together, as he held on to what he did have control over in this situation.

The pain stopped as abruptly as it started and Remus collapsed into the chair, as much as his restraints would allow, his world going gray as he tried to catch his breath. His muscles quivered all over from the pain, the relief of that pain, and the wrenching of his body as he writhed. His world was nothing for long moments.

When he roused himself to more alertness and lifted his head, he saw Severus watching him intently. The snip-snip of the scissors had continued, as his hair was hacked away, pulled up by handfuls. The scissors so close to his scalp it was only a matter of time before he got cut. Severus just watched from the shadows, his eyes seeming to almost glow in the dim light.

"Why?" Remus finally croaked.

"Why what? Why torture you? You don't think you've earned a little retribution? Hmm?" Severus replied, his tone once again conversational.

"No. I think we ended our school years fairly evenly. Assuming that I'm accountable for the sins of my friends, which I will accept responsibility for." Remus straightened, then winced as the tip of his ear was cut. To Remus the pain was no worse then a paper cut, and the small wound healed so quickly that only a single drop of blood rolled along the contour of his ear. "You've always used me as your proverbial punching bag anyway. Regardless of the fact I never harmed you directly."

Severus laughed bitterly, an ugly, rusty, sound. "Yet you remain loyal to them. It is _they_ who allowed you to suffer at my hands. When I outted you, how much easier do you think things would have been if Black had come out too? He could have protected you and chose not too. It was Black who let me in on your real secret. Not to mention Potter's innumerous selfish acts that left you, at best, in the lurch. At worst, beaten nearly every day of fifth year for being a fag." He raised a brow delicately.

"It's not in you to understand," Remus replied after a moment. He sighed softly. James and Sirius may hate Severus, but Remus never had… nor would he ever. If ever there was a sheep gone astray, it was Severus. "I can't expect you to understand love, trust, loyalty, when it's been so lacking in your own life. And forgiveness."

"Forgiveness is for those who cannot exact revenge," Severus snorted, pacing closer as the guard who had been playing barber unbound one of Remus's arms, speaking to him in Russian.

"Take your shirt off," Severus translated after a moment.

Remus sighed and ducked out of his shirt. His arm was grabbed and rebuckled to the chair. Remus didn't fight it. Pointless rebellion was dangerous and without merit. He heard the high buzz of a tattooing needles start up on his left side and cringed just a bit. He had other tattoos, and it wasn't the tattooing itself that hurt. For the magic-imbued ink to remain fast, for his body not to absorb and heal, it had to be done with a silver needle. That was what hurt. It felt like being tattooed with a needle that had been heated to white before being put to his flesh.

Severus fell quiet as the guard started to tattoo on his bicep, the silver needle biting into his flesh then dragging a line of fire, then back up again. It was short movements, which was almost worse, the needle going back over already-tender skin. Remus resolutely ignored both Severus and the pain, turning his head to stare out the one tiny window in the room.

After ten or fifteen minutes, the buzzing stopped and Remus let out a breath as the needle was finally taken away from his skin. Severus was still watching him, his expression unfathomable. Remus had no idea what to make of any of this. Why was Severus here, watching this part of his ordeal? Was it simply to see him 'marked', branded like so much chattel? After a moment, he approached, and ran his finger over the freshly inked skin.

"You've just been marked for life, Lupin. Even assuming you survive your time here, and that seems unlikely, every time you look in the mirror, you'll think of me." Severus smiled, more a feral bearing of teeth than a real smile, and then stalked out.

Remus looked at the fresh mark on his arm, wondering what mark he'd bear for life. It was rather unoriginal, for the most part. A serial number, 37562613, under that, thought was another mark. Two parallell lines that ran horizontally across his bicep, not unlike an equal sign. Remus couldn't fathom what that symbol meant. Outside of a math equation, he'd never seen it before.

Red pricks of blood welled up over the black ink, and oil naturally rose to the surface over the damaged skin, creating a fine sheen over the numbers and lines. Normally a tattoo was bandaged for awhile immediately after, but the guard who'd shaved and marked him showed no inclination to do so.

After a moment the restraints undid themselves, and Remus stood up, brushing as much of his hair off his clothes as he could, running a hand over the uneven stubble that remained. His issued uniform had come with a cap, cloth, with a stubby bill, like some soldiers wore. He had put it in his pocket, but he pulled it out now and put it on. It wasn't so much that he cared, after all, hair grew back, but the best way to stay warm was to keep your head covered.

The guard gave him only a moment to collect himself before beckoning him outside, prodding him across a dirt-and-scrub-grass yard to a rectangular building which two more guards stood outside of. Words were exchanged amongst the three, then Remus was shoved roughly up the couple steps and through the door.

Author's Note: Hello everyone, here's another chapter finally. I've had it for a while but I've had a few snags. Oh well, here it is now. I'd like to give a shout out to my beta ScorpioPhoenix, she was a major help. Hope everyone is still enjoying this. Thanks to all of you who keep reading my work. Double thanks to those of you who review it! The Russian in this chapter is what is called "Transliterated" I took the Russian words and spelled them out as best I could in English letters. I think that's everything.


	5. Learning Curve

Disclaimer: In case you weren't sure, I don't own Remus, Sirius, Lily, James, the ministry of magic, the condition of lycanthropy, or the Harry Potter universe in general. I do own Mum Lupin, the rest of the Lupin clan, and various other original characters throughout.

Warnings: Adult situations, graphic violence, nudity, slash.

Balkeirv

Chapter Five: Learning Curve

By: Irish

There were about three dozen men in the building and quarters looked tight, but no worse than in the average military barrack. All eyes were on him as he stood in front of the door and tried to regain both his physical bearings and his mental ones.

Had there been a clock it would have been ticking loudly in the silence.

Remus knew he was poorly socialized as a werewolf, not having any experience with others of his kind. The beasts of the other men, just behind the window of their eyes, were all perking up their ears and watching the new comer. They were waiting to see if he would challenge whatever hierarchy was in place. For the first time he saw in other people what he saw reflected back in the mirror. The knots in his stomach froze and sat like cold stones.

Moony lunged forward in his mind, throwing himself against the bars of Remus' iron control. There would be violence. He could see it scared deeply on the faces and bodies of the others. He might be able to survive if he let Moony have his way. If he was ruthless enough.

Remus felt the seconds eroding away. He could only stand here frozen for so long before the choice of how to present himself was made for him. He needed a game plan but it was so hard to think around the snarling in his head. Submission or dominance?

From the far right corner, someone rose from a crouch, swaggering forward, thumbs hooked in his pockets. Remus felt his hackles rise and Moony growled in his chest. This was the alpha. Remus shifted his weight mostly to one foot, standing casually, his body not squared off directly with the approaching alpha, but he turned his head a little, eyes unwavering.

"_Vee hkohtetye?_" The alpha growled. He strode directly into Remus' personal space, pressing forward until Remus's upturned face was only an inch from his chest. Remus wasn't one for biblical allegories; but it was a bit of a 'David and Goliath' moment.

"Yeah, see I don't speak Russian," Remus said, smiling with faux apology. He shook his head and lifted his shoulders briefly. The alpha was at least at least a foot taller than him and probably had close to a hundred pounds on him and seemed to be trusting on his size alone to intimidate the smaller werewolf.

"Oh, I see," the alpha said, a malicious grin parting his lips. "You are from U.K. then, _dah_?" He didn't even pause long enough to hear Remus' answer. "You need to learn your place here, _suka_." He glared harder at Remus. It almost made the smaller man want to laugh in his face. A glare was impotent. It was like bring a knife to a gunfight.

"I'm no one's bitch," Remus said coolly. _Suka_ was one word he knew. "Better step back unless you're looking for a clatter," Remus shrugged as if it was nothing to him either way. He shifted his stance again, so he was squared off with the challenger. It was an aggressive stance. If he'd had a tail in his human form, it would have been held high in the air, ears back.

The nameless alpha stared back long moments, then finally took a step back, conceding nothing other than that he didn't want a fight right his moment. Remus sidestepped, circling around without every taking his eyes off the other man, before backing away slowly to the far opposite corner from where the alpha had come from.

It had been no choice, he realized as he finally broke his gaze to look around at the other men in this back corner, and the space they occupied. Moony had always had a dominant personality. He was the alpha of their ragtag animagi pack. Not that Padfoot and Prongs couldn't control him when they had too. Prongs especially.

"You're British? Thank gods, I'm getting mighty sick of these Ruskies."

Remus turned, a little surprised. The man who had spoken was offering a hand, smiling at him. Automatically, he stuck his own hand out and shook with the man who had greeted him.

"Ah, no, Irish, actually," Remus replied.

"Close enough! I'm Charlie. You'll want to avoid Vlad, he's a real wanker, and his other… nastiest damn wolf I've ever seen, and around here, that's saying something!" Charlie said, either the type to end all of his sentences with exclamations or really just overly excited to meet him.

"You haven't met mine," Remus said darkly, a new worry over laying the rest. Moony had always been a grumpy cuss, but not too terribly violent, as werewolves went. That had changed though, in the last few years. Moony had become rabidly violent, so much so that Prongs, Padfoot and Wormtail couldn't even be with him during the moon any more. During his years at the Auror Academy, he tore himself up worse than he had in his early Hogwarts years.

In the last year or so, since they'd all settled into their communal life, Moony had calmed a down a bit, but Remus still made his changes alone, afraid of what Moony might do to his friends. Now, in this new and very upsetting situation, Remus was sure that the darker side of Moony, what Remus thought of as Not-Moony, would reappear. If that was the case, everyone here was in very big trouble.

"Oh they're all nasty, right?" Charlie chuckled, though Remus noticed it had a shrill and hysterical undertone. "Well, Vlad's top dog around here, and unless your wolf is bigger than you are, you don't want to challenge him," he shook his head. "Let me introduce you around. That there is Sven, he's from Sweden, obviously."

Sven was another very large man, even bigger than Vlad had been, but he looked very young, and there was something in his face that made Remus suspect the young man was a bit slow. Remus smiled and offered his hand.

"Pleased to meet you, Sven,"

Sven just continued to smile slightly vacantly, though his eyes darted away from Remus to Charlie every couple seconds as they shook hands.

"Sven's mute," Charlie shrugged. "He knows his English letters well enough though, sometimes he'll write a bit if there's something he really wants to tell you."

Sven offered a thumbs up.

"Ah, great…" Remus said uncertainly returning the gesture.

"And this is Jacques. Crazy French son of a bitch," Charlie indicated a man even smaller than Remus who was approaching them with a bit of a skip in his step.

"_Oui! Je suis fou! Oui!_" Like Vlad had, the petite Frenchman came right up to Remus and into his personal space, circling around him, sniffing. "But my mother was not a bitch, _non!_ You sir, smell like a Welshman."

Remus craned his head around, watching Jacques pace around him in tight circles. He glanced at Charlie, "What does a Welshman smell like?" He half whispered. Charlie shrugged unhelpfully and Remus sighed, feeling more like he'd been sent to the sanitarium. "Ah, well I'm Irish... and French."

"_Mon dieu!_ You are French? At last, some civilization!" Jacques threw his arms around Remus in an unexpected hug, which Remus forbore stiffly. "_Parlez-vous français?_"

"_Oui, je parle français couramment._" Remus replied. Because of the political strife in Ireland, his father's family had fled to France before World War II, and though they still had a strong cultural Irish identity, his father had grown up speaking French, before he moved to Ireland to join the Republican fight. All Remus' older siblings had gone to Beauxbaton, because of his parents' political feelings about the British. So Remus had grown up speaking French and English, heavily interspersed with Irish. It was an unusual pidgin.

Remus' response in French had earned him another embrace from the small man. Remus patted him on the back awkwardly. "Ah, nice to meet you too."

"And that old duffer in the corner is Gordon. He's Scottish." Charlie hitched a thumb at an older man laying on one of the lower bunks in their little corner. Gordon lifted a boney hand briefly, but offered no further acknowledgement.

"That bunk's open," Charlie indicated one bunk out of the two sets of two that were in this somewhat secluded corner. The thin matress had been made up tight, hospital corners and all with a wool army blanket. There was what looked like a grain sack for a pillow. Remus was impressed that they got pillows at all.

"Sure, thanks Charlie," Remus said, taking a seat on the bunk, looking out over the barracks again. There were probably three dozen men in the building, most of them idling around, playing what looked like games of chance using whatever they'd managed to come up with in the way of dice. Some were talking idly, but many were simply lounging on their bunks, like Gordon, apparently just waiting for whatever came next.

English speakers were obviously in the minority, and seemed to be segregated to the corner he was now in (Jacques and Sven notwithstanding). Snape hadn't been kidding, he really would have to learn Russian, and fast. Remus knew his history well, and knew that in prisons and camps trade and bribery was everything. If Russian was the trade language in here, not to mention what the guards spoke, he simply had to learn it.

The barracks were 'u' shaped, with what Remus assumed were the jakes in the middle. Two outside walls, and one of the bathroom walls made up the little corner of native English-speakers. Remus wondered if they actually had running water and guessed they must have something or the smell would have been overpowering, not to mention incredibly unsanitary.

There were small braziers on the floor every ten feet or so, one right in the middle of their area for heat, though nothing burned there now. It wasn't cold enough. Honestly, the conditions could have been much worse, Remus realized. These weren't exactly comfortable accommodations, and in the winter it was probably far worse, but that they had pallets, blankets, some sort of toilet facility indoors, yes it could have been far worse.

Charlie had taken up residence on the floor with Sven, playing tick-tack-toe on the floorboards with a sooty stick from the small wood stove towards the front. Remus was glad to be left alone for the moment.

It wasn't long before one of the guards came to the door and shouted at them. The men stopped what they were doing shuffling for the door. Remus immediately looked to his new companions for a translation.

"Dinner. Or what passes as," Charlie said.

Remus slipped off his bunk and followed along with the herd, staying quiet, disappearing easily into the small crowd. His head swiveled back and forth as they moved out of the barrack and into the dooryard, watching everything and everyone around him. Every detail he knew was one more tool in his bag of tricks.

They moved over to another long building, inside it was dark, and smelled of unwashed bodies and stale food. There were three or four times the number of men in his barrack already in the mess hall, obviously several different barracks worth. Remus stayed close to Charlie and Sven as they shuffled through the mess line, served bowls of a thin soup and a small ration of bread.

After they sat, Remus poked experimentally at his soup with his spoon, trying to judge the contents of it, surprised to find actual vegetables and bits of meat in it. The meat looked and smelled like chicken, and several experimental sniffs revealed no odd scent about it. He looked up at Charlie, who was already literally licking his bowl.

"You'd better eat that before someone steals it from you," Charlie said, after he swallowed. "It's not often we get meat."

"Uh," Remus said, some small alarm going off in the back of his mind. He was hungry though, and if they only rarely got meat, Remus was sure he would need whatever nutrition he could get. After another long moment of hesitation, he ladled a spoonful of soup into his mouth. It was salty and his nose wrinkled a bit, but he'd certainly had worse.

The alarm bell in his head wouldn't stop ringing though, and after a few spoonfuls; he set the bowl aside, opting to eat his bread ration instead. Down the table a ways, Gordon and Jacques didn't even have bowls in front of them. Remus frowned, wondering if they'd gotten their food stolen.

"You're not going to eat?" Charlie asked with a frown. Slowly Remus shook his head, and without hesitation, Charlie snatched up the bowl for himself. Remus sighed softly to himself, nibbling at his bread ration, washing it down with water. At least the water was clear, though it tasted flat from being boiled. Remus just counted his blessings that it had been boiled and he wouldn't have to worry about getting sick from it.

Charlie barely had time to finish the remainders of Remus' soup before a handful of guards came in and barked commands. Remus assumed they were saying something like "get moving" based on the fact that everyone stood up. Remus stood too, popping the last bite of bread in his mouth and taking one last drink of water as he did.

Remus was glad for the fresh evening air as they were marched back, his stomach starting to churn a bit, with what he assumed was nerves. The cool air helped calm him some, though beside him Charlie and Sven were both looking apprehensive. Remus looked at them.

"So, what's next on the agenda? Charades?" He asked with feigned cheer. Neither of the other men seemed amused.

"Nothing, they'll mostly leave us alone for the night," was Charlie's response. Sven grimaced, a hand pressed to his stomach. Remus own stomach gave another lurch, this time Remus was certain it was a lurch of nerves. It was bad news, very bad news, if his stomach wasn't the only one churning. He looked around at a sea of pale and drawn faces as he started up the steps to the bunkhouse with the rest of his barrack. Already a couple men were making tracks for the jakes.

Remus pressed a hand over his own stomach. The only good news for him was that he was pretty sure if he got sick it would only be coming up. Vomiting wasn't exactly dignified, but he was confident it was better than the alternative. Ignoring his new companions, he moved straight back to the jakes himself. He would make himself throw up what he'd eaten, it wouldn't take much with how he felt, and that would hopefully get it out of his system enough for him to stay in control of his bodily functions.

The jakes appeared crude at first, nothing more then a trough in the floor, but on closer inspection Remus could see that there was a constant flow of water through the trough, to wash away filth. If it was decently designed it probably was washing into a sand filter that absorbed the waste and purified the water. That was all moot though. There was no privacy at all, just the trench, not even half walls along it to give some illusion of privacy, and Remus was able to see and smell what those who were already making use of the facilities were doing. It took almost no effort on his part to make what bit of dinner he had rise into his throat. He knelt and braced a hand on the floor on the other side of the trench as he heaved.

It didn't take long to vomit up everything he could, but by the time he managed to get to his feet, legs trembling, several others were already expelling their dinner from one end or the other. It was going to be a mess back here soon. Remus washed his hands from a pump, then took a moment to fill a basin and rinse his mouth and wash his face. His stomach was still roiling and knotted from whatever they'd put in the food. The meat hadn't been rotted; he'd have been able to smell that.

Remus staggered back to his bunk, Charlie pushing past him, hand to his mouth, as he did. The tawny haired-werewolf lay down on his bunk, not even bothering to remove his shoes. His body wanted to vomit more, but there was little left in him, and the acid or the act of dry heaving over and over could make the situation worse. So he did his best to focus on his breathing, ignoring the sounds and ever-increasing odor around him.

It was overwhelming, the illness around him, his own discomfort, but by the time he felt like he was losing control over himself, he knew that there was no place back in the jakes for him to be sick, because now, almost everyone in the barrack was ill, and vomiting (or worse) in whatever container they could find. The door was barred from the outside, although a few had tried to escape to be sick outside.

Part of Remus' own ever-compounding nausea was the illness around him, the sheer stench, how it overwhelmed his every sense. If only he could get a bit of fresh air. Like the door, the windows latched from the outside, though, and short of breaking the glass, there was no way to open them.

He opened his eyes slowly, hoping to see some sort of salvation, lest he be reduced to vomiting on the floor. There was a knot in one of the planks of the wall, a knot with a hole in the center that opened into the night. It wasn't much, but Remus thought that even the small draft from that would be better then breathing this rank, festering air. He rolled off his bunk and onto the floor, crawling a few feet to the hole in the wall and pressed his face against it, breathing deeply from the small draft that blew through.

There Remus lay, curled on his side, face pressed to the wall as he inhaled from the small stream of fresh air, shaking with his illness. Eventually the sounds and smells faded, not because the rest of the barrack was finding some relief from their ailments, but because Remus had faded somewhat. Not quite into sleep, but into some quiet blackness, his mind gaining some rest, even as his body shivered and sweated. He'd spent worse nights in his time, but not many.

Morning was long in coming.

Author's Note: Well it's not the tightest chapter I've ever written, but it's the only thing I've written in a while. I hope you all enjoy it. Please feel free to leave me a review, I can always use a kind word, or a well thought out critical one. Keep your eyes open; I hope to post more to many of my stories soon.


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